© 2018 by Caren Siegler

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  • Caren Siegler

Done


DONE

Done. Arrived at or brought to an end.

Done. Doomed to failure, defeat or death.

Done. Gone by: OVER

Done. Physically exhausted

Done. Sufficiently cooked

(Thank you Merriam-Webster)


Done. Great word!


I’m done. Over it. Out of excuses. Out of acceptance. Over the lies. Out of hope. I give up. I’m done!


People are magnificent! I have dozens of daily interactions with those I know and those I don’t yet know and those I will never know. Some are absolutely magnificent! And some are uninspiring. Some make me so happy and some just make me shake my head. Some people make me smile just looking at them. Some people call me just to say hello because they miss me. Some walk right by me in the hallway like I don’t exist.


"People are magnificent! I have dozens of daily interactions with those I know and those I don’t yet know and those I will never know. Some are absolutely magnificent!"

I love strangers who just want to chat on a short elevator ride. I love friends who want to talk for hours about nothing and everything. I love men who just want to be with me; it doesn’t matter where or for how long, it only matters that we’re together. And I even have love for the men who don’t want to be with me at all but pretend they do. The same with my friends who say let’s hang out, but then make plans and don’t include me. I love them all. They’ve taught me so much. About life, about love, about myself. What I’m able to forgive although impossible to forget. How much mistreatment of a relationship I accept. How important I really am in this world and to myself. There are lessons everywhere that we learn from people. People truly are magnificent! Except for the ones that do everything they can not to be.


The wolf who looks like a sheep. The one that pats you on the back and stabs you in the chest simultaneously. The one that makes you cry because your heart is broken. The one who faked love and caring and friendship for…. for what? The one who brings me to the point of being done. It takes a lot. I put up with a lot of shit before I finally walk away.


I’ve said this before, perhaps you’ve read it my blog, “It’s Me”. I want no regrets in life, I want no ‘what ifs’ or ‘if only’ or ‘I should have”. I want to be sure before I close a door that I really don’t want to hold the key any longer. I have to be sure. And if that means someone saying to me, ‘why do you put up with that crap” or “where’s your self-esteem?” or “how do you let him/her talk to you like that?” before I walk away, so be it. It’s not up to them when I’ve had enough, it’s up to me. I get there eventually, sometimes much slower than I’d like, but I get there. No turning back, no hundredth chance, no more tears or sadness. I’m done.


It’s not that I don’t have questions. I do. Why? Why didn’t this work out? Why did they say that/do that/be that? Why wasn’t this as I planned it to be? I don’t expect answers though. I have trust in the Universe that this is the way it’s supposed to be. That something better is ahead. I don’t have to always have the answers, it’s enough to know I did the best I could (although always striving to be better, I can always be better) and trust the process. It’s okay to leave someone behind, the sun has set on their story in your life.


I don’t like endings though. I suppose that’s why I stay too long sometimes. Finality saddens me. Or makes me mad! Let’s just say I’m emotional about endings. And empowered. And proud of myself! I walked away from something that did not serve me and put myself first - finally! I am strong! I am worthy! And I deserve all the magnificence this world has to offer! As do you!


What is in your life that you need to be done with?

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